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Friday, 13 June 2014

Taking control: Could intuition help you to walk away from ailing relationship?

A marriage relationship is a bond of positive energy between two parties who consciously responded to this energy and decided to share their resources and themselves without reservations.  It is a connection which is designed by the Creator to unite two people and is intended to transcend the grave.

I do not know if you have ever tried to understand why two highly educated people who have acquired complex knowledge in their fields of expertise fail decimally to rescue their relationship! I considered two factors: How each perceives the world – introversion and extraversion; and sensing and intuition both of which are critical for effective communication. 
Extraversion and Introversion: Generally you respond from both internal and external motivation but one way is predominant and therefore defines your common known way of response to the environment.  When you are more responsive to outside environment you are an extravert; and when you internalize most of the experience and converse with yourself more than express your response, you are an introvert.  An introvert is able to analyze information and encode background meanings and therefore thinks through the problem more comprehensively. An extravert is more spontaneous and thinks after the action in most instances. For an example, consider a couple passing a scene of an accident. An introvert will wonder how it happened internally while an extravert will ask rhetorical questions which are likely to sound silly because the other person cannot answer them.  Would you agree with me that this way of responding to the world could negatively affect the relationship? 

Sensing and Intuition: This refers to the way you gather data and make decisions. When you gather data through the five senses and decode it literally like scientists, you are applying your senses.  We all have basic intuition which is a form of protection mechanism when data is not enough for decision-making.  You are intuitive if you generate abstract faculties beyond the five senses to gather and decode information. Now let us apply this to a relationship setting: An intuitive party would feel the degree of deteriorating affection regardless of efforts to maintain the expected behavior.  In other words, five senses cannot decipher ailing relationship compared to the power of intuition. Consider the following:  

1.    An intuitive partner may try to apply remedial measures as soon as things start cooling off by coming up with a new and exciting way of doing things.  The greatest challenge of intuition is that it is a personal knowing which may not have enough reasons to convince anybody except the person experiencing it.   As a result the other party may not appreciate change when things that define normal environment are present.
2.    Planning for the future could be a challenging exercise when the couple thinks differently. Imagine the couple trying to draw a will and allocating resources to two children. It would be ideal to do so considering all factors which would include intuitive approach. The point here is that logic is not always enough in the decision-making equation. Intuition overrides senses and helps in seeing the big picture.

The pull and push pattern may sever the relationship to the point of despair for an intuitive party who is also an introvert.  The feeling that the relationship is not working may be felt by one party.  The challenge is that, the reason for walking away from such ailing relationship may not be convincing to the other party including the legal system. As I explore the four types of intuition, you will realize why relationships are complex. Intuition is critical to affirm your decision to walk away from the ailing relationship.  It will say yes to your decision to start over and take control of your life.