|Socializing a child is like building a house;|
the one with deep foundation to withstand challenges...!
Self-condemnation is unconscious pointing of own flaws. It is declaration of lack of love to self through negative thoughts, feelings, words and actions. The latter is often verbalized as bad luck; the manifestation of defense mechanism wherein a person exudes such a negative energy that he or she attracts strife and stir conflict in others.
The possible contributors of self-condemnation!
|Physical burden is better than emotional|
one. Do you have one...?
A person is born with biological traits from both parents and ancestors. Most of the overt behavior is the result of the informal learning process and accumulation of information through all sensual ports from zero years throughout developmental stages. These become values and beliefs which influence how individuals interpret their personal world. Self-condemnation is explained as accumulative inputting of negative energy as follows:
1. Critical parenting: Inherently every infant thrives on parental love and care. All children are fast active learners. In other words, a child repeats every word he or she hears and emulate all behaviors. This means whenever the critical parent verbalize disapproval with a negative words instead of positive ones, those words will eventually be understood to mean something and will be acted out.
2. Childhood labels: All actions start from the thought and transformed into feelings before they are acted out. The function of the brain is to process information – good and bad- and file it accordingly. Because parents are important source of livelihood and accumulation of information and skills, their words and actions are regarded as important and therefore stored carefully.
3. Shame: A child is a full person with little experience. This means a child is happy when praised and discern disapproval accordingly. Because of little experience, a child is unable to accurately interpret negative approach to correction of unpleasant behavior. The accumulation of negative approach from the beloved parent becomes a shame and is likely to manifest throughout life in various negative self-talk otherwise termed self-condemnation.
4. Gilt: According to Dr. Jeanette, the renowned Holistic Psychologist, “guilt is the worst experience known to human.” Why? Because it is toxic and transforms a person’s regard of self-worth; thus significantly contributing to self-condemnation.
5. Low self-esteem: It is the ultimate result of poor parenting wherein a child carried wrong message about self and concentrate on weaknesses rather than inborn strengths and acquired skills. Self-condemnation is expressed through negative pointing of own flaws and of others. It is inability to see the white wall but the small spot on the white wall.
How to cut the anchor of self-condemnation!
Anything that you focus your attention on will respond favorably. Cutting negative self-talk and
condemnation should be regarded as a number one task to achieve in order to
experience optimal life. Here is how you can reconfigure your mind to embrace
yourself as worthy of your love and of others:
|Loving self will heal emotional wounds!|
1. Become conscious of how you feel about yourself. Ask; do I love myself? What ten things can I identify and list as evidence that I love myself?
2. Make decision to grow the list daily: As you focus on your strengths you will discover a new-you. Also list your weaknesses. The reason for identifying your weaknesses is not to feel hurt if someone chose to hurl them at you.
3. Write your own affirmation: Repeat these affirmations just before you sleep and chose your favorite statement which you will utter aloud to yourself the first moment when you wake up and throughout the day. Mine is; “the grace of the Lord is enough to overcome any challenge!”
4. Prohibit self-condemning thoughts: Consciously declare that negative self-talk is not allowed in your thoughts, heart and mouth. The key is; anything that you allow to stay in your conscious mind several minutes is regarded as important and will be filed carefully. So discard any negative thought as soon as it emerges.
5. Be sensitive to your feelings: You can immediately tell when you have offended yourself or others. Apologize and do not allow guilt to dwell in your mind. Remember your mind is inherently the devil’s playground. So, do not entertain self-condemnation in any form!
6. Use time profitably: If for some reason you are not able to sleep and find yourself indulging in those unfruitful thoughts, sit up and search for things you have not discovered about yourself. Alternatively find a game to constructively spend wakeful hours for your gain! Games build your mind and delay forgetfulness as you age!
7. Negative experiences are stepping stones: Regard those negative moments in your life as stepping stones that helped you to cross the rivers of challenges; thus enabling you to give yourself a pat on the shoulder for rising above the storms of life.
You take control of your life when you do not dwell in the negative box and entertain self-condemning thoughts. You take charge of your life when you systematically embrace yourself and sincerely learn to be grateful for the hard work of reconfiguring your mind to be transformed from being a worm and becoming a butterfly; free from self-condemnation and beautiful, exploring life unreservedly!