Create-a-new life!

Saturday, 24 September 2016

Taking Control: How to heal breaking romantic relationship!


Address issues with love and respect....
Remember you love each other!!!

A romantic relationship is like a garden; left unattended, weeds will grow, ruin the beauty and stifle or kill the planted seeds. It requires love, work and patience to thrive and bond the two parties to experience blissful quality time together.

How to identify a breaking romantic relationship?
 Broken romantic relationship is one-sided whereas both parties must have a general positive regard for each other; thus enabling both to prioritize giving of affection and attention to other needs of each other. A breaking relationship is characterized by an emotional pain of the victim and selfishness and manipulation by the abuser.

How to heal breaking romantic relationship!
Like any other thing, you exercise your subjective view why you associate with others. In a romantic relationship, the deciding factor is love and other attributes that match your values and beliefs and therefore motivates your attraction and attachment.  The following steps could enable you to not compromise but establish a rationale to engage in the process of repairing a breaking relationship:
1.   Identifying the problem: This is a process of clear analysis of behavior or practice that steals your peace. You must avoid mixing issues in order that you could see if you are the source of the problem. For an example, your partners stopped making the bed because you want him to use your method to the letter.

2.   Presenting an identified problem: You can establish if your partner would want to fix the problem or whether you can seek an alternative way so that he or she can do what she is skilled to do instead of sulking over something he or she is doing wrong. If the problem relate to your personal preferences, you have to weigh pros and cons and consider if he wants to change to meet your expectations. In other words it is essential to think about the problem and formulate assumptions why is it happening. This will enable you not to react but carefully consider the best way to address it.

3.   Addressing the identified problem: How you choose to present the problem depends on what it is. For example, if your partner is arrogant or a controlling person, you would rather email or text him or her so that he or she would read the whole message and have a point of reference to see your case holistically. The benefit of a text message is allowing the partner to see the big picture from your point of view whereas if you talk you may end up not articulating on all important points.

4.   Ideal response to the breaking relationship: The ideal response to mend breaking relationship is to discuss the problem with compassion and respect; being aware that you both were socialized differently and therefore your values and beliefs are likely to differ.  This means that when both see the problem, you will likely jointly seek alternatives that work and seek to recreate joy and harmony.
Being mature in romantic relationship is
choosing to love unreservedly...! 

5.   Forgiving and moving forward: Effective solution is one which does not demand one party to feel like he or has won the battle. An ideal approach is one which feels good for both and restores the relationship to its original level wherein both parties could feel safe to be vulnerable. Real repentance is motivated by love and desire to recreate trusting bond again; knowing that each party is keen to rekindle the fire of unconditional love that seeks to love unreservedly.

6.   Honesty and openness: It helps to look each other in the eyes when talking to see how each word affect the other party. This openness will enable both parties to realize the extent of the hurt and will likely motivate both to see how they have contributed to the problem. Not allowing ego to ruin the discussion should be the cardinal rule so that you do not feel hurt or resentful that you have been caught; but be grateful that your partner approached you to put the problem behind.


Conflict always shows up in a romantic relationship. The challenge is finding an ideal approach to dismantle it before it creates a gap that could not be bridged. Romantic relationship requires conscious and constant attention to each other. The greatest success is approaching any challenge with love and respect knowing that you both have different foundational socialization from which you built your values and belief systems. Taking control of your life is ability to allowing your partner to be himself or herself when being part of you; thus enjoying the uniqueness of humanity in expressing love.