Create-a-new life!

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Taking control: How do you approach a desired change?

Change occurs only  if there is total acceptance of  self
with all your flaws. Only then can you start living  with others
 and finding something to cherish them for!
Change is dynamic and cuts across all aspect of humanity. Every moment of your life is affected by information inputted through all senses; thus changing your perception about yourself, others and life in general. Change is the root cause and a motivating factor behind your learning efforts; whether informally, non-formally and formally. The key is allowing yourself to live with imperfections and accepting your level at which you have capacity to change.

Why do you need change?
You need change to eliminate the current hurdles that slow you down or have a potential to derail you from attaining your goal. You also need change to develop skill and improve your productivity or remove yourself from unproductive environment. You seek economic change to improve ability to access wealth and live optimal life. A rational assessment of your strengths and weaknesses will usher you in a place of comfort to consciously love and honor yourself. Only then would you be able to search for the appropriate strategies to improve the current undesirable behaviors, and correct misleading cultural values and beliefs about yourself and others. There are three types of people:
1.   Those who put others first: They hardly think of their needs and some do not have clear goals. You cannot give what you do not have. In other words if you love yourself first you will know how to extend that love to others. Because you want peace in your environment, you will not be the source of disharmony anywhere. These people have a noble attitude of serving others; but they must learn to have a point of reference and life purpose.

2.   Selfish people: They think of themselves and have low level of social intelligence to interacting with others. These are ruthless people who control and step on others’ rights to satisfy or meet their own goals.  When love is replaced with excessive love of self, negative energy becomes prevalent and it is a root cause of crime and health issues.

3.   Prosperous people: They are achievers who have acquired skill to balance compassion to assist others with relentless efforts to meet their own identified goals. They have learned to accept themselves fully and therefore love people without seeking to please them because that is mission impossible. 

How do you attain change?
Seeking change is a subjective quest and depends on individual’s perception of self and life in general.  The paradox of life is that you need to change for your own adaptability in your environment.  This then denotes that your reason to change is to trim undesirable behavior in order to live harmoniously with your family, community, colleagues and the world at large. You can attain change by:
1.    Assessing your life purpose and identifying gaps so that you can take appropriate remedial measures.

2.    Establishing a clear strategy of attaining how you need to adjust to live harmoniously with others and still achieve your established goals. For an example, do you know why you repel people? Do you listen when others talk or you impatiently wait for your turn to react to part of what they said?  
Let go of any emotional bondage
of your socialization ! Forgive
those who raised you in less than
ideal environment!

3.    Realizing that you have not achieved your goal because you have sabotaged your own goals by not using your inner power of thoughts, words and actions. You are what you think about and feel!

4.    Taking responsibility for your social, spiritual and financial success because what you think about and seek must come to pass; delay or failure is your feedback of your non-compliance to the law of cause and effect. You reap what you sow! When you become aware of this fact, you will take responsibility to learn and maintain positive energy.

5.    Owning up a responsibility to change the level of knowledge and wisdom to let go anything that disrupt your plans. To change your life, you need to change how you think, speak and act. Such attitude will help you to be conscious of your thoughts and remember that the natural laws of love and cause and effect apply all the time.
Change originates from within and is not dependent on outside factors. You have no power to change economic recession; but you can change your lifestyle and reduce the level of expectations so that it does not impact you severely. You may love your parents; but you may not approve their spirituality. So, you must change your attitude in order to give them space and respect their choices. Change is a necessary mechanism that enables you to adjust and accept yourself and others.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Taking control: The secrets of happiness!

Happy people are not perfect; they choose to see the good in
others. They forgive easily and choose not to remember or
dwell in their own flaws...!

Happiness is a byproduct of positive energy due to a person’s positive thoughts, words and actions. It is a natural characteristic of a person which reveals unconditional love and trust in others which is a childhood trait and evident in adults seeking and practicing spiritual enlightenment.

How you can practice and maintain happiness!
Naturally all children project happiness except those who are in abusive environment or are victims of physical and or emotional abuse. Smaller percentage exits into adulthood with these positive attributes and become luminous characters that easily inject joy wherever they are. Let us examine the secrets of happy people:

1.    They know themselves and stir clear of toxic environment. Happy people naturally identify negative vibrations and take action to not be contaminated.

2.    Most of them know the benefits of positive energy as a necessary resource for their own productivity and holistic wellness.

3.    They have learned to identify toxic thoughts, words and actions and make effort to neutralize these through simple daily rituals such as meditation, payer, singing and other forms of energy healing.

4.    They know how to unload their mind free from past unpleasant thoughts by forgiving those who contributed to unpleasant experiences in childhood and or various forms of relationships. You can choose to let go of the past and move forward through spiritual concepts such as unconditional love and repentance. You can only love people now by choosing not to remember what they did to you, your family members or your country. Repentance is not being sorry because you were caught; it is a conscious and free choice to look at the situation and recognize its ugliness; making sincere decision to disassociate with the habit or incident.  You do this by thinking about the underlying reason why somebody treated you badly. It could be that a person is a victim of abuse and know nothing about loving and accepting others without judging them. You could choose to move away from hurtful thoughts because you cannot afford to allow negative energy to ruin your own plans. Either ways, you can only control you and not the other person!

5.    Run in your lane. If you listen to your inner voice – the real you – you will avoid stepping on others and be the cause of conflict. For an example, if you do your job and know your boundaries and how the chain of command works, you will handle people accordingly and know when to refer matters to those assigned to solve your job issues. If on the other hand you participate in ministry work at the church and your leader is not excellent in the way he/she handles administration issues; ignore imperfections and shut your mouth because you have to submit.

6.    Being happy is a daily conscious decision.  Make this your daily goal and acknowledge your success every evening when you meditate; regard this as a step closer to unlearning to control or judging others. It is a fulfilling feeling to see yourself becoming a new person whose happiness is not dependent on others. You can only control you and when you achieve this; you have achieved self transformation.

Health benefits of happiness!
A cheerful heart is a good medicine (Proverbs 17:22). Happiness supports physical, mental and emotional health. It lowers heart rate; levels of stress hormone cortisol and concentration of plasma associated with heart disease. According to Dr. Martin Seligman book – Authentic Happiness - studies indicates that happy people do better in social relationships; use their intelligence more efficiently; are more optimistic; have a better physical health and are more creative.

The secret benefits of happiness weigh much more than reasons to take offense or respond to any cause for unhappiness. Self control is one of the fruit of the spirit which says to us, we are responsible for our own happiness regardless of the environment. Did you notice that after watching bad news or action movies on television, you become fully entrenched in negative energy? Remember you become what you think and talk about! Good and bad things that happen to you are the results of your decision to maintain your happiness or lack of it!

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Taking control: How to support your aging parents!

Being psychologically prepared for aging is key to  maintain optimum relationship, health and wealth!

Aging is fearful because it reduces control on general ability to care for self and most importantly on accessing and managing hard earned wealth. Those who are not psychologically and socially prepared experience despair.  The spiritually matured aging people know otherwise; they become a resource of godly wisdom and embrace life with a deep appreciation for humanity. 

Getting ready to support your aging parents!

It seems that mankind is naturally comfortable with this life and it is rather abnormal to think about aging and dying. Most aging parents in their retirement years would prefer to be cared for by their children in the comforts of their homes. This is normal because it may not be ideal to be ushered into the strange world of other senior citizens and become a mere statistics!  While we all would like to stay alive longer, it is likely that beyond eighty years, health condition will compel your parents to be cared for and you need to be ready for this change. Getting ready therefore denotes coming to terms with imminent decline of your parents’ health and independence. It could be helpful to be supportive of their activities while they are still able to determine what they would like to do with their remaining years. For example, if possible, introduce them to computer and internet resources. Studies have affirmed that active mind helps to reduce mental health issues and the tendency for intellectual decline. Encourage your parents to be active and reach their identified goals. Meantime you need to make financial reservations so that you can find appropriate help when that time comes.  Researching on old age homes and finding ones that offer learning resources and wider range of recreational facilities will enable you to make informed decisions. For an example, if your mom plays piano, it would be ideal to continue this practice at will.

The onset of aging and lifestyle change!
According to Eric Erikson, a psychologist who studied aging, the onset of aging is around the 65th birthday.  Most organizations retirement policy also observe this age as the limit beyond which the productivity of a person declines. At this stage some aging parents especially those who are not yet eligible for state pension, are living on their own insurance provisions. In most cases it is not enough to cover all their basic expenses.  This means aging parents do need some form of support from their children when they retire from their profession or jobs.
The ideal time to care for your aging parent in terms of food supplements and hormone replacement therapies should be earlier. This will enable you to monitor their health needs and consider suitable life cover insurance policies.  Talking to your parents about their old age plans would help you to plan and also be psychologically prepared to retire.  The prospects of retiring could be traumatic; so approach the subject lightly.  It is also advisable to learn about aging issues and how it may impact on your finances. You need to provide for food supplements and how to keep their hormones in check for optimum health, especially with regard to bones structure, collagen depletion and mental health.
Human hormones sites
You may start to learn about hormones and their roles in sustaining vital organs from various site including this one; Hormones play significant role in aging gracefully and it is prudent to take your parents for regular check-up; this way they will hear supportive treatments from the doctor and not you.

Taking control of your life is being vigilant about your relationships with your aging parents; it is your responsibility. The Creator gives us a counsel on how, in  Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you”.  Actually when you do this act of love, you will be teaching your own children how to care for you when your time comes!

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Taking control: How to engage in effective personal growth and development!

Life fish swim up the stream.... You owe it to yourself to
take control of your life!
Change always starts within - that place of inexhaustible personal resource which transcends the grave.  Growth and development is a personal mission; one which you know you must seek wisdom and knowledge within you in order to experience the sense of achievement.  
What is personal growth and development?
Growth and development is subjective because only you know what you want to achieve and would really impact you positively. While most people have no idea what is ‘wrong’ with their lives; part of them know that they are not living according to their level of potential. The need to seek growth is compelling. I call it natural because the Creator gave you a special assignment which only you can do according to His will.  The good part is that, He has imparted most of resources in you to get started; and gave you wisdom to incorporate others because what you have to do often will move you out of your comfort zone. Development is a lifelong journey of discovering, refining and imparting the good you have attained in others. This processes is often triggered by an important life event that inspires you to improve and empower yourself by discovering where your full potential lies. The result is a more satisfying and meaningful life, which is evident in your relationships, place of work, self-image and self-confidence, as well as your worldview.”
Getting started with personal growth and development!
Engaging in personal growth and development requires you to be insightful and open-minded.  Since you cannot change what you have not identified as needing change, your tenacity in the whole process must be kindled by objectivity of the current state so that you can effectively maintain high level of motivation to achieve what you desire to be. I encourage you to follow these guidelines:
1.    Things I am good at: List those things you like and do well and see what you have done with them. Every person is good at doing something. For example, if whenever you talk, people listen and readily take your suggestions. This means you could be a writer, counselor or lawyer even if your academic achievement is not on social studies. Think about what you do well without effort!
2.    Undesirable attributes: We all have blemishes; what is yours? Short-tempered; controlling; fear of failure or inability to submit to authority. Note these without judging yourself. That is another exercise you may need to look at especially if it could possibly interfere with your growth and development efforts.
3.    Own evaluation of performance:  This is an important step where your intrinsic motivation to grow must do the hard task of pointing at your self-sabotaging behaviors. Often we blame others for not achieving our goals. Stop! You are giving away your power to change undesirable behavior every time you point a finger of blame elsewhere.
4.    Close friend’s feedback: Carefully select a person who has capacity to speak into your life and you also trust.  Give him or her permission to tell you the truth on the above items and prepare yourself to listen objectively.
5.    Clear plan of remedial measures: Clearly write down the findings from your perspective as well as your helper’s and draft what you must do to attain your goal. Most of us will at this point realize why nothing has happened; the point is if you do not know what you want, meaning a goal, all activities will bear no meaningful fruits. Do nothing about this draft for several days while you meditate on your strengths. Remember that your mind may play tricks and send you on a mission impossible.  Who you want to be is an exciting process! The power of the positive energy will prompt you to seek answers from within you; the spiritual you and not exclusively on logic. At this realm the truth is clear and the small voice within you will reassure you of success and fulfillment.

Taking control of your life is your responsibility. You can postpone undertaking this exercise but it is a ‘must-do ‘; and no one will do it for you because no one knows you better than you. At whatever point of your life: As student or a young adult seeking a companion; you need to know who you are before you bring someone into your life. You can imagine the chaotic life it would be when you do things on trial and error; not being able to confirm the other party’s efforts to make you happy! It would really be a challenging life, and I am sure you would rather choose normal life – taking risk to live your life with a total stranger, and trusting love to cover the multitude of your issues!