Create-a-new life!

Monday, 1 September 2014

Taking control: Can you attain a perfect life in the imperfect world?


Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by constant seeking of moral or spiritual perfection. It is the tendency to set excessively high standards, culminating in being critical of anything perceived as less than hundred percent. 

The struggle of correcting imperfect world!
Perfectionists could strife and attain their highest potential and at the same time could destroy their self-worth when such goals are unattainable.  Nobody would normally like to live in a disorganized environment.  Ideally we all appreciate good things and strife to do our best to get them.  The difference is that normal people know and are aware of imperfection in humanity and therefore would accommodate less perfect performance from others. Perfectionists on the other hand want all or nothing; hence are prone to mental disorder including depression, anxieties and eating disorder.  Consider for a moment how a perfectionist would seek a mate!  You can imagine the challenge of finding a mate who matches the set specification?  What this actually means is that, a perfectionist has a tendency to be manipulative.  He would control women they fancy to see the world the way they do!  For an example, a perfectionist would use positive manipulation such as convincing his date to eat at a certain restaurants of his choice because of the high standard of service.  He would be the one suggesting the best everything, thus covering the controlling behavior with supposedly the best intention for seeking the high standard.  If you are an empathic person, you would prefer friendliness over cold and efficient service.

I have always noted with interest the accuracy the Creator informed us of accepting imperfection in others.  For an example, Jesus who is said to be a perfect human being because He was a Son of God, was born in a stable and had relatives who were less than ideal socially and spiritually.  When He started His ministry, He nominated the less educated people; empowered them to implement the new spiritual dispensation.  He transformed the then cream of the society by eating and interacting with less honorable because he accommodated imperfection in humanity.   My point is; can you really enjoy this life if you seek perfection?  Remember, other people were raised in places of fewer rules about personal hygiene and orderly environment.  Perfectionists suffer and struggle for seeking to control that which is beyond them. 

Is there hope to lower the stress for perfectionists?
Perfectionists are idealist; they refuse the practicality of the imperfect world.  They seek that which is rare and therefore are forever under stress; looking for the minority of their group.  Consider the challenges they endure:
  1. They are not satisfied with their best results.  Something deeper inside is not enough and therefore they cannot experience the joy of their good work.  They always say; I could have done better!
  2. They see half empty class not half-full class.  They see mistakes and miss out on goodness which is always in the mistakes.  This could hamper them from learning from mistakes.  People that fear failure could let opportunities pass by; hence increase the number of those whose depression landed them in mental institutions.
  3. Their principle of attaining better than the actual achievement drives them to extreme.  For an example, those in entertainment industry flip over to bad habits such as extreme diets or plastic surgery to correct their bodies’ blemishes.  Often such extreme measures do not support physical body wellness. 

Transforming self is not impossible; it is deciding to review the present behavior and finding the common ground to make this life worth living.  Would you want to be in the company of someone who is critical about everything you do? I like orderliness, but I have learnt not to buy living room chairs that would not allow me to stretch my legs over them.  I have also let go fluffing my cushions before going to bed as a ritual. Oh! What a relief?