Create-a-new life!

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Taking control: Looking for positive distraction from emotional pain?


Positive distraction is a useful short or long-term task that helps you to engage your mind in useful activities to continue to build a better you.  It is proactive mechanism in maintaining a healthy attitude when you encounter challenges.

The function of the mind is to think and when there is nothing new to think about, you mind will continue its job of thinking which means re-thinking on the subject that is high on your personal agenda.  We regard rewinding on hot issues as normal, yet it is being absent.  You get emotional pain from another source now and if you are still rehearsing how the pain occurred, it means you are inflicting pain yourself.  As you learn to control your mind to stay conscious, the best steps to engage in positive distraction are as follows:

  1. Review your resume: Going through your resume will help you to remember the road you traveled and your achievements.  It is common to put your personal goals on hold when you get into a long-term relationship and tend to make skewed compromises that seek to build it. Your resume will reflect your academic achievements you have not researched on in terms of professional career open for you.  Often when you love someone, you make a mistake of consulting and looking for approval and get trapped in agreeing to pursue what is suggested.  So, go back to your history of what you have achieved and see what you need to build on to meet your updated goals.

  1. Re-visit your personal goals: This step is very important because you need to decide where you want to be and how to get there on your own without inputs from anybody who is not a professional career guidance authority. I know of a friend whose partner encouraged her to do masters in psychology when she wanted to do dentistry.  The boyfriend got interested in another girl and they separated.  The lady had double pain of wasted two years in the professional field she really did not want; and a broken heart from the trusted friend. This may mean nothing to you, but I learned to not involve another person on matters as serious like career.  I therefore suggest you remember to define your destiny in a manner that will include long-term relationship but not divert or exclusively disregard your road to attain your upward mobility.

  1. Further your studies: Education changes a person and its validity transcends the grave.   It is a best distraction which will help you to maintain your mental health and boost your economic condition after separation or divorce.  Studies indicates common decline of financial capacity following separation or divorce.  This situation could have a long-term negative impact on the children education plans, health and level of lifestyle.

Nature hates gaps.  Opting to pursue further studies on your preferred profession is the best distraction which will help you to spend your time profitably.  Education will sustain your negatively affected self-worth due to failed relationship.  When you get that good grade, you will feel much better and ready to move to higher level alone or with your children! You would have learned how to take control of your life!