Create-a-new life!

Friday, 7 November 2014

Taking control: Watch out how hallow effect affect your relationships decisions!


A relationship is a result of merging social and spiritual interests and responding positively to ensuing attraction. It is actively building a list of things you like about a person and weighing the importance of those that do not conform to your values.
How to overcome the hallow effect!
The hallow effect is the positive first impression impact which overshadows the person’s blemishes.  It is a powerful feeling of liking a person and renders your judgment skewed because you have already been won over by a particular action or behavior.  In jobs interviews, it is one element that human resources experts watch and would assist others in a panel to avoid because it would affect how they assess knowledge and skills of all interviewees objectively.  In relationships, we tend to ignore this phenomenon and fail to assess our own emotional state when we meet people who have powerful charisma.  We even disregard our gut feelings about certain cues that point to subtle negative blemishes.  You could overcome the hallow effect by considering the following pointers:
1.    Are you vulnerable? In order to evaluate your own emotional state, you have to watch how you preempt response to your questions.  For example, if you are a lady and you ask this physically attractive man what he is doing for a living and you already have potential answers, you are under a hallow effect!  In other words you will not listen objectively and therefore fail to pick cues about overstated successes or gaps on personal background.
2.    Are you under pressure to meet your personal goals? Often we set goals like these: I want to get married before I am thirty and I want to have two children by age forty five!  It is good to have goals; however when you are approaching the set dates you become anxious and desperate.  A desperate woman will attract a desperate man! I am sure this is not what you would like.  The fact is that, you have set yourself up for a disaster! You will cancel guiding principles of long-term relationships in order to validate this person whom you are attracted to.
3.    Is spirituality key and qualifying criterion? When you are emotionally vulnerable, issues of spirituality are first to be removed from the list of qualifying factors because your emotional needs have been won over! You believe a lie that when you win this man over; your love will make him give in to your spiritual needs also.  This is a vital mistake! Issues of spirituality are critical and must be agreed upon because they will affect your offspring and your parenting styles!

Marriage binds two individuals under the spiritual blood covenant.  When a couple does not worship together, the relationship develops cracks which gradually create serious communication gaps.  It follows therefore that spirituality should be key and a deciding factor to tie the knot.  You take control of your life when you are spiritually clear because that would dictate your lifestyle.  Should your spirituality be compromised because your flesh needs have been met? This is a matter that should be devoid of a hallow effect!