Taking control: 3 steps to explore in new romantic relationships!

A new romantic relationship is a journey of discovery of true self
 and of the other person....!

New romantic relationships are challenging and often cause significant anxiety to both partners. The process of getting to know each other has a lot of unspoken expectations. Both parties tend to project their best behavior and reservations pertaining to disclosure to personal information.

Risk factors in new relationships!

The risk factor is the cause for anxiety in new intimate relationship. The common one is an uncertainty in the ability to determine how to handle the pace of intimacy without sending mixed signals regarding the level of interest and intention to commit to the natural development of relationship in the early dating phase.  From the female point of view, it is important not to lead a new relationship into a level of investing too much within a short period; this is normally uncomfortable situation with most ladies.  In this era of cutting corners men are always in a hurry to get to the physical intimacy before emotional one. This is a scary part because there are people who are not interested in commitment but seek fun while it lasts.

3 steps to explore in new romantic relationships!

Some romantic relationships develop over a period of knowing a person and establishing trust. Sometimes the relationship is a reaction of explosive passionate attraction wherein the two parties are drawn by this natural force between themselves and work backward in developing trust. We pick three steps as critical in enhancing a romantic relationship momentum to other levels of intimacy:

Letting love work its miracle of transformation
is allowing another person
to be free to love you as is....! 

1.   Communication: There can be no relationship without mutual bond of interest leading to the development of love; which in itself is the form of communication. The challenge starts with expectation of what to communicate and the anxiety of being careful or overzealous in expressing such expectations. For an example, new relationships are characterized by over-communication of feelings; this is the necessary strong bond which maintains the level of attraction to bond the couple to be able to disclose personal needs and expectations. Most ladies get discouraged if communication is less than expected. Men on the other hand may feel they must restrain their need to call or text several times a day for fear of ruining the relationship. The best approach is being genuinely natural!

2.   Personal attributes: The careful selection of words when communicating during the initial phase of romantic relationship delays the getting-to-know-each other phase significantly. Both parties may fake certain behaviors, which consequently do not reveal the natural ones. The likes and dislikes of certain personal attributes are affirmed or disproved over a period and often violate hard-earned trust. If you are looking for someone you can change, reverse that thought to whether you would want anyone to change your values!

3.   Personal values: When dating people first meet, they pick on certain cues which inform them of other habits. Sometimes such discovery could reinforce the interest or lower the passion to pursue the relationship. For an example, one lady from township was highly excited to be asked on a date by middle class executive who drove a new Benz car. They ordered the T-bone at the expensive restaurant and started eating. The gentleman struggles with the knife until he put it aside and used his hands. To the lady’s dismay he licked all five fingers and seems to be at ease with that behavior. The lady was shocked and could not wait to get out of the restaurant!  She felt embarrassed and was clear that she cannot pursue a relationship with that man. Values are important because they set parameters within which to interact with self and others.

Taking control is a conscious decision to be proactive in designing your life and packaging your lifestyle to be satisfying. The challenge comes in finding someone to share your ideal life with. This is where most of us attempt to compromise, only to live a miserable or develop resentment towards a partner. It is ideal to sell genuine self because you are also looking for a genuine person to share your life with! The truth will always set you free!