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Monday, 16 May 2016

Taking control: Arrogant attitude destroys relationships!

Arrogant partner controls and is unable to share love or give attention to anyone but self!
All relationships thrive in love, empathy and moderate humility. Arrogance depletes other people’s energy and makes it hard to listen with interest or objectivity. A victim would experience overbearing superiority and would not attempt to pursue another encounter or seek a closer relationship.

Arrogant attitude defined!
Arrogant attitude denotes overly display of confidence which in essence is insecurity and various esteem issues. It is being conceited about self and is often associated with a defense mechanism behavior. Arrogant attitude is fluffing one’s feathers and exaggerating on personal attributes and achievements.

Symptoms of arrogance
How do you identify an arrogant person? Often arrogant people are not aware that they display overwhelming confidence and love of self in a way that ruin interaction with others. Here is how you can identify symptoms of arrogance:
1.    Being cold and detached.
2.    Regard self as always right and more gifted than others.
3.    Always disregard others inputs as inferior.
4.    Frequent critiquing others opinions or work and correcting their ideas.
5.    Regard self and ideas as better than others.

The impact of arrogant attitude in relationships
Arrogant person self-destruct in the sense that the attempt to overplay self lowers other people respect as follows:
1.    In a family setting: An arrogant sibling cannot be close to others because it is a constant comparison of quantity or quality of everything and never appreciating what others have done. Such self-elevation causes animosity between siblings and a permanent gap in later life.
2.    In a romantic relationship: Arrogance goes hand in hand with controlling behavior. An arrogant person would seek low profile persons who would not question anything but would submit or enjoy being at the background.  For an example an arrogant male will attract ladies who want and seek safety from a man who dictates over everything under the guise of knowing it all. An arrogant lady on the other hand is a turn-off for most male companion because of the tendency to draw attention regardless of the setting.

How to overcome arrogant attitude
The most effective approach to unlearn undesirable behavior is identifying and   acknowledging that particular behavior as needing modification. The second step is to have a clear goal of developing humility and openness to overcome arrogant attitude as follows:
1.    Be aware of the need to be in the spot light and take conscious decision and action not to comply with that need.
2.    Learn to listen whenever a person talks and ask questions and not express own view.
3.    Share achievements with others and allow them to express their own views.
4.    Avoid correcting others unless permission has been granted. For an example if you are making your own contribution in a meeting or conference, do so without correcting others; leave that to whoever is chairing the forum.
5.    Ask a friend to give you a feedback regarding your behavior towards others; how you interacted with others and allow them to be themselves around you. 

Arrogant attitude is a symptom of esteem issues and is a thorn in all types of relationships. Since it is a form of a behavior defense mechanism, it can be unlearned with therapy. Those suffering from it cannot have successful relationships because they lose credibility and respect of others due to their exaggeration of their capabilities.