Create-a-new life!

Monday, 26 October 2015

Taking control: How to overcome the fear of loving again!


Love is as natural as breathing!
There is someone out there who will allow love and surrender to this beautiful gift...!

Love is a positive emotion; distinctly characterized by attachment, caring and intimacy. Fear of giving love is a negative emotion which is likely to render a person lonely, unproductive and unable to move from gross-roads. 

What breaking up means!
Breaking up denotes that a couple failed to compromise their principles, beliefs, and values to the extent that their paths became parallel; never to meet anywhere. Both parties are likely to develop deep feelings of hurt and betrayed confidence. It means one or both parties missed the mark either by faulty impressions of visible behavior and missed to engage intuition which is more accurate in discerning issues of the soul and spirit or by not addressing pertinent life principles during the initial stage of dating. Both are likely to get confused by impressions, which are objectives learned through physical senses and archived in the intellect and therefore come through that source. Intuition on the other hand comes from within and results from raised physical vibration state of consciousness through the physical brain. It is the higher state of consciousness of unobservable impending reality communicated from within; instructing you convincingly to take a particular action. In a case of broken relationship, it is critical to analyze impressions that led you astray and then reach within to get clear instruction of what remedial action will apply for you.

Learning to love again!
Learning is a mandatory ongoing process of acquisition of knowledge and skill. While psychologically erasing hurting experience is hard because your body cells memorized hurtful things that happened to you through one or all your senses, you can choose to consciously replace those memories with pleasant ones. Allowing fear to prohibit your heart to reciprocate affection from others is the clear statement of lack of faith in your ability to learn from your mistakes. It is condemning yourself to life imprisonment of withholding the most beautiful gift of experiencing emotional, intellectual and spiritual fulfillment from love; it is consciously giving power to those who have hurt you. Consider how you learned everything you know:
1.    Before you learned to walk someone took your hand and patiently encouraged you to take each step and picked you up when you fell; cheering your efforts for every step.
2.    As an adult, you made mistakes and because you have matured, you must analyze your contribution in failed relationship so that you can choose alternative strategies.
3.    Learn the principles of the natural laws:
a)   If you applied the Law of Force by way of manipulation, withholding love and attempting to control the other party, you reaped what you sowed. You created and born a free being and you cannot succeed to forcefully change others.
b)   Universal principle says that if you surrender something you cherish, it will come back to you multiplied. The Law of Harmonious Attraction says what you resist, persist. If conflict has reached resentment stage, it means a lot of damage has occurred because one or both parties have been unconscious of emotional, social, and psychological needs of the other. Trusting again will be a challenge and needs spiritual application of the principles of love. The Creator defines love (in the Bible – 1Corintians 13:1 -7) as ideal for humanity because He is love and we are created in His image. He has provided enabling mechanism of letting go of the past and giving unconditional love to others. He encourages us to choose love.
4.    Forgiving is a choice. It means choosing not to dwell on grief, instead to let time heal the emotional wounds and allowing trust to build because love cannot develop and exist without trust.
5.    The challenge of developing and building love means trusting yourself first that you can regard a new partner without comparing him or her with your ex. It is being ready psychologically to give and receive care, approval and allowing physical contact; it is deciding to be vulnerable again to another person. Loving again is being conscious about valuing the other party’s needs and happiness. It is paying attention to the quality of intimacy – sharing of your thoughts, desires and feelings with each other.


Love is a natural state of being and existence. It is a life promoting gift without which a person loses purpose and stops to grow. Decision to move out of grief will thrive if a person has decided to let go the Law of Force and apply the Law of Harmonious Attraction. To gain momentum in the latter requires application of the power of now; being fully aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. It is learning and consistently practicing declaration of intend to start-over a new life from the premise of unconditional love; one that seek and uphold strengths and not weaknesses.