Create-a-new life!

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Taking control: Guidelines on addressing destructive behavior!

Destructive behavior is a range of actions that display negative emotions, characterized by non-compliance to the norms and values of the family, community and other social institutions. It is an irrational response to the environment which denotes absence or low level of consciousness.
Factors of destructive behavior
Behavior is a learned response to various stimuli which become habits over time. At birth an infant have few inherited characteristic which are subject to change depending on an environment.  This denotes that an infant has no skill to understand most of what is going on around it; nonetheless all that is archived in a unconscious mind. Information in the unconscious mind is not accessible to the conscious mind, but influences your thinking patterns and behavior throughout your life. The following are contributing factor of destructive behavior:  
1.    Socialization: An infant is socialized by parents first, then the community, school and the church; thus laying foundation to be a prosperous member of the society. The nature of this important foundational education will shape observable and non-observable behavior which could be positive or destructive. Socialization encompasses a dissemination of knowledge information and functional skills.
2.    Dysfunctional family: Denotes a family unit that is broke and not performing optimally. Parents are role-models and can only produce ideal results if they display ideals that are based on standard specific moral principles. Dysfunctional family impacts a child negatively because it fails to maintain a sense of belonging and holistic emotional and physical security.
3.    Environment: Is a surrounding and has an overwhelming effect on a child at various stages of development. The media teaches children both good and bad behavior; and parenting has become a challenge especially with regard to deteriorating moral standards.  
Common destructive behavior
Destructive behavior manifest early in life. Children beat others intentionally and parents ignore these; yet it is a cue that should raise a red flag. Note the following common destructive behaviors:
1.    Anger – displays aggressive behavior that threatens others verbally and physically. It does not attract people to you.
2.    Argumentative – is a form of controlling behavior, where a person seeks to overrule others through forceful logic. It destroys interactive communication.
3.    Manipulation – is a devious and purposeful false display of love or positive attitude with intention to abuse trust and usefulness of other people’s possessions and skills.  People must choose to love and offer their emotional and physical support willingly and not because they are deceived.
4.    Inconsiderate – is choosing to think and do things that benefit self regardless of a plight of others. This is the opposite of love.
How to address destructive behavior
 A behavior is a manifestation of a thought which could be triggered by information received through all sensory portals. Your mind process a lot of information at any moments and the process slows down during your sleep. Most people are not aware of their behavior because their mind is on auto-pilot mode and over active. They key to identify any destructive behavior is being present – paying attention to what you are thinking NOW. This will enable you to attempt to analyze the motivation for your behavior as follows:
1.    Evaluate daily activities: Ask yourself: What did I do today? Attempting to answer this question will rewind what you did; people you met and what transpired. Analyzing your constant underlying emotions of the daily activity will highlight emotional blemishes. This is the beginning of reclaiming your consciousness – ability to control yourself.
2.    Write down incidents that disturbed your peace: Recording activities where you did not act rationally is learning to be objective about your observation. The purpose is not to judge yourself; but learn to look from a third person’s perspective. You will be amazed of how unconscious you could be! You may find yourself reacting and not responding in most cases.
3.    Empower yourself:  We all have a lot of room to change. The question is; do you want to change to be a better person?  While you cannot access unpleasant information and experiences stored at unconscious level, you can increase the positive ones consciously as follows:
v  Stop any negative thought as soon as it occurs and replace it with pleasant one including praying or singing. Develop a new hobby of reading spiritual books; listening to audio on quieting you mind.
v  Learn to meditate. You already know how to dwell on negative thoughts; so you can intentionally think and speak to yourself; thus reinforcing your self confidence and ability to prosper in relationships, health and wealth.
v  Learn the principles of Emotional Intelligence. You can only change what you have identified as needing your attention!
v  Seek professional help. If you feel you have too much on your plate and have no skill to unlearn unpleasant behavior, seek a life coach or counseling.
Taking control of your life is being proactive about reshaping a new you. It is not seeking to shift anything anywhere; but reinventing a genius in you according to your talents and spiritual gifts. You owe yourself a chance to live your life without blaming!