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Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Taking control: 5 complex subjects you must apply wise compromises!

Life is a lot complex when you are planning to partner with somebody in a binding marital contract because you really must find someone who loves you enough to bend his/her beliefs and values.  Sacrificial compromise must be acknowledged as evidence of unconditional love and not a weakness.
Compromise defined
A compromise is being able to allow and accept lower than expected concession on something through open communication. It is noting and being mature about the fact that each person is an individual and very different from you and therefore cannot see the world according to your perception. Compromise enables people to tolerate each other and co-exist in various social institutions.
Five subjects you must apply wise compromise
You are an individual and have likes and dislikes.  Nonetheless, you learn to forfeit your right to full satisfaction as you go through various developmental stages.  The most significant compromises occur when you decide to bring another person into your life under the marital contract. It becomes complex because marriage is designed by God and has His rules. From the social perspective though, compromise has been a subject of much debate under the banner of human rights.  Huge documents were drawn and governments have to enforce them.  Nonetheless as you plan to bring someone into your life you need to consider the following before you tie the knot:   
1.    Spirituality: You are a spirit being with a soul living in a body. The issues of spirituality therefore are of utmost importance.  If you are a Christian, you better marry a Christian; life will be less complicated when you worship your Maker! Even if you fall for somebody outside your religion, you must sober up and internalize how many compromises you are willing to meet for the rest of your life!
2.    Political affiliation: This is one subject you are likely to tiptoe around hoping to make it insignificant. It is not; and could be disastrous! Imagine these: you and your spouse watching current affairs and unable to discuss issues for fear of arguing? Think about that! Remember; parents are role models and children emulate them. Political affiliation compromise could be hard to meet.
3.    Your career: After a lot of hard work you are finally an engineer and you work away from home.  Would you find somebody who will compromise and accommodate your work conditions?  Remember your career is your life; so is your spouse’s career! From spiritual point of view, a wife simply comply to all circumstances; but from human right perspective, how far do you expect another person to forfeit their own personal goals for yours?
4.    Number of children: Agreeing to a specific number of children is an honorable compromise.  Social roles make a mother more responsible to feed and nurture an infant. On the other hand, it is expected that you as a father must provide for the family. How prepared are you to share your wife with your child? Remember a child has selfish reflexes of needing attention now and will learn about the delayed gratification principle later in life. A child also will become another factor of compromise when considering migrating to another country for higher paying job if that will disrupt schooling program.
5.   How You Spend Your Money: You work to meet your needs and wants. Without a spouse you probably change cars every year though you live in a rented bachelor apartment.  You also shop designers’ clothes and enjoy eating out. All these are likely to change to accommodate your partner’s needs and wants apart from saving money for the number of children you purposed and are convinced will make you happy. This requires a huge compromise and psychological preparedness.

In relationships compromises are essential and are permanent conditions that make life bearable in all social institutions. They are a basis on which, a person willingly experience less of the available resources in order to accommodate the likes and dislike of others. Compromises distinguish mankind as a social as well as a moral being; they assist in upholding a social justice.