Create-a-new life!

Showing posts with label personal strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal strength. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Taking control: How to engage in effective personal growth and development!


Life fish swim up the stream.... You owe it to yourself to
take control of your life!
Change always starts within - that place of inexhaustible personal resource which transcends the grave.  Growth and development is a personal mission; one which you know you must seek wisdom and knowledge within you in order to experience the sense of achievement.  
What is personal growth and development?
Growth and development is subjective because only you know what you want to achieve and would really impact you positively. While most people have no idea what is ‘wrong’ with their lives; part of them know that they are not living according to their level of potential. The need to seek growth is compelling. I call it natural because the Creator gave you a special assignment which only you can do according to His will.  The good part is that, He has imparted most of resources in you to get started; and gave you wisdom to incorporate others because what you have to do often will move you out of your comfort zone. Development is a lifelong journey of discovering, refining and imparting the good you have attained in others. This processes is often triggered by an important life event that inspires you to improve and empower yourself by discovering where your full potential lies. The result is a more satisfying and meaningful life, which is evident in your relationships, place of work, self-image and self-confidence, as well as your worldview. http://www.pachamama.org/personal-growth-and-development.”
Getting started with personal growth and development!
Engaging in personal growth and development requires you to be insightful and open-minded.  Since you cannot change what you have not identified as needing change, your tenacity in the whole process must be kindled by objectivity of the current state so that you can effectively maintain high level of motivation to achieve what you desire to be. I encourage you to follow these guidelines:
1.    Things I am good at: List those things you like and do well and see what you have done with them. Every person is good at doing something. For example, if whenever you talk, people listen and readily take your suggestions. This means you could be a writer, counselor or lawyer even if your academic achievement is not on social studies. Think about what you do well without effort!
2.    Undesirable attributes: We all have blemishes; what is yours? Short-tempered; controlling; fear of failure or inability to submit to authority. Note these without judging yourself. That is another exercise you may need to look at especially if it could possibly interfere with your growth and development efforts.
3.    Own evaluation of performance:  This is an important step where your intrinsic motivation to grow must do the hard task of pointing at your self-sabotaging behaviors. Often we blame others for not achieving our goals. Stop! You are giving away your power to change undesirable behavior every time you point a finger of blame elsewhere.
4.    Close friend’s feedback: Carefully select a person who has capacity to speak into your life and you also trust.  Give him or her permission to tell you the truth on the above items and prepare yourself to listen objectively.
5.    Clear plan of remedial measures: Clearly write down the findings from your perspective as well as your helper’s and draft what you must do to attain your goal. Most of us will at this point realize why nothing has happened; the point is if you do not know what you want, meaning a goal, all activities will bear no meaningful fruits. Do nothing about this draft for several days while you meditate on your strengths. Remember that your mind may play tricks and send you on a mission impossible.  Who you want to be is an exciting process! The power of the positive energy will prompt you to seek answers from within you; the spiritual you and not exclusively on logic. At this realm the truth is clear and the small voice within you will reassure you of success and fulfillment.

Taking control of your life is your responsibility. You can postpone undertaking this exercise but it is a ‘must-do ‘; and no one will do it for you because no one knows you better than you. At whatever point of your life: As student or a young adult seeking a companion; you need to know who you are before you bring someone into your life. You can imagine the chaotic life it would be when you do things on trial and error; not being able to confirm the other party’s efforts to make you happy! It would really be a challenging life, and I am sure you would rather choose normal life – taking risk to live your life with a total stranger, and trusting love to cover the multitude of your issues!

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Taking control: You are ready for a relationship when you have accepted yourself!


Accepting yourself means you have undertaken a conscious self-study and acknowledged your weaknesses and strengths.  It means you are not delusional about what you are wired to achieve and therefore has a potential to be when you decide to establish your goals.  
Knowing who you are is very important foundational subjects which will enable you to avoid running in a wrong lane and end up feeling like you are a failure. Have you wondered why you are attracting wrong people? Well; it could be that you really do not know yourself! What must you do if several people you regard as not fitting the type of people you would like to associate with seek your friendship? Shocking as it might be, it could be your opportunity to take stock of who you really are!  It would not hurt to take personality tests and be truthful when answering the questions. 
Focusing on your strengths is a key. The principle is this: As a man thinks, so is he. The implication is that if you are shocked by the people you are attracting, it could mean that you are focusing on your weaknesses. Focusing on your strengths will usher you in an ideal place of growth.  For an example; if you know you have screened yourself on Seven Intelligence Centers and you are intrapersonal (have deep sense of self and are self-motivated) you will not try to be okay hanging out with a rowdy group every weekend; you will be miserable! Allow yourself to be a quiet person you are and you will indeed attract someone who admires you as you are.
The danger of not knowing yourself is faking joy when you are bored to tears! Believe me, I know because I tried to be a happy-go-merry person and failed myself.  I have since learned to enjoy who I am and am indeed blissfully happy! Imagine if you married a person who ticked hiking as your hobby because you pretended to like it. Would it be fair when you reveal the true you? Not at all! So who did you bring to the relationship? A total stranger, who has not only breached a cardinal rule of trust, but has also made the partner feel trapped!  You have actually shattered the dream of romantic hiking in his entertainment plans! That would be a serious relationship blemish to compensate for with other activities!

 Accepting yourself will allow you to understand your ego defense mechanism, which seeks to covers your weaknesses with premeditated false behavior.  When you are aware of the desire to cover up the true you, you will deny this and maintain your integrity. Admitting the periodic temptation to project the false behavior denotes your maturity and self-confidence. It means you have taken control of yourself and have started over a new authentic life!