A second
chance relationship is one in which a couple reconcile their differences and
agree to start-over. It is a result of a soul-searching exercise wherein both
parties voluntarily evaluate their respective underlying actions which resulted
in separation and project a renewed commitment to rebuild their relationship.
The rationale for the second chance!
The second
chance is being able to objectively see the role of your destructive behavior
and taking responsibility to identify remedial actions. It should be a decision to go all the way in
developing building thoughts, engaging in supporting actions and affirming with
words of faith in your ability to follow your heart. The following will help list and briefly
discuss how the building could be done:
1. Clear
the air by addressing expressed concerns: Never underestimate the power of small offenses such
as careless words that attacks personal blemishes such as, “you never pick your
dirty clothes!” Replace such an attack with,
“I would appreciate if you could help me put your dirty laundry in the basket
every evening”. Open talk weeds out resentment and build trust and readiness to
cover each other’s weaknesses.
2. Build
trust through allowing personal needs: Trust
grows from allowing your partner to live his/her life with you. Let me explain: When you were dating, you had
to be on your toes so to speak; making sure that everything about you is appealing
and impresses your fiancé. That was unreal!
You would be miserable if you were to spend the rest of your life acting out a
window-dressing behavior. The point is,
choosing a life mate means you consciously allow one stranger to come into your
life as he/she is and allow him/her to enjoy life together with you. If there is nothing intolerant about this
person, it is worth your while to make amends and see where you failed to
accommodate each other unreservedly.
3. Accept
change: Denotes maturity
about life being dynamic. Often men do
no adjust to see beauty of their partner after childbirth. Instead of unreserved support, they show
signs of being bored or turned-off by the changed body. Some speak emotionally damaging
unkind words about gained weight, floppy breasts and tummy. The fact is, the girl sleeping
next to you, used to be stunning until she allowed you to have your baby! Learn
to appreciate her and keep her self esteem intact.
4. Sharing
life: If you both
understand what marriage is, your former attitude about material and
non-material things you accumulated or plan to have, stopped being yours when
you vowed to honor and cherish each other until death. Sex is the major part of sharing and it is
sacred to the Creator who designed marriage.
If this is not clear, you need to seek professional help so that you
stop continuing to be a boy or a girl instead of a mature, responsible adult
who understand that love is not controlling nor abusing each other.
These
affirmative steps can create environment that is conducive to start-over a new
chapter that is intended to allow daily bridging of personal differences and
building positive and accepting attitude that is key to unconditional love. The
second chances is ideal as long as one of the partner is not a narcissist and
therefore teachable to adapt to partnership lifestyle.
No comments:
Post a Comment