Taking control: Is shyness sabotaging your personal growth plan?

Shyness is not being able to express or participate meaningfully to what you know would be beneficial to your personal growth.  It is in-congruence of the will to take the process of thinking to fruition; thus displaying inaccurate level of cognitive competence.

Shyness is classified under personality and clinical psychology as a dysfunctional behavior.  It affects people socially, causing anxieties; performance difficulties in the presence of other people; public speaking; lack of assertiveness and social contact with the same or opposite sexes.  A shy person is not able to reveal knowledge and therefore could easily not be promoted to leadership positions because of projected inability to speak assertively with subordinates.  The following steps would help you to self-diagnose shyness and unlearn the behavior:

1.    Identify the problem – It is important to take stock of your reaction whenever you have to speak in the presence of other people. I am not referring to normal flutter that is said to be normal regardless of the exposure to speak at public gatherings.

2.    Unlearn being fearful – Adopt a calm mental state in order to allow your mind to reflect on your strengths. It is important to note that you are unique and you have something that others will benefit from. You have to convince yourself that people must hear what you are thinking if you are to progress higher in your professional ladder.  Change your attitude about being fearful of making mistakes by regarding them as learning curves that are necessary to expose you to professional experiences and maturity.

3.    Manage your environment – It would help if you could ensure that you keep away from negative people who would intimidate you.  Such people normally fluff their feathers and put you on the spot unnecessarily. On the other hand, it is always easy to pick positive people:

·      They are likable and project loving and supportive atmosphere.

·       Your inner-self will draw close and feel at ease talking or responding to their conversation.

·      They radiate positive energy which makes you respond with equal enthusiasm.

·      You naturally want them to like you without having to crowd them.

4.    Positive self-talk – Write down your strengths and weaknesses; then articulate your goals.  Sit in a quiet place and analyze necessary resources you need to achieve them.  One common resource all people need to reach their goals is interacting with those who have succeeded.  This will clearly show you that you have to interact and learn from people in order to reach your goals.  Confidence comes with being prepared and will minimize low performance.  Consistency in maintaining high performance will override the fear and turn it into motivation to repeat successful behavior.

Shyness will naturally die as soon as you focus on your strengths. Appreciating your daily achievement and not judging yourself will surely enable a new behavior to emerge and stay constant.  While greatest support could come from those who are close to you; intrinsic motivation is more powerful to maintain upward mobility and holistic personal growth!