Taking control: Learn dynamics of relationships!

A relationship is a product of an interaction with one or more persons, or with living and non-living things.  A relationship is dynamic because it could bring positive or negative emotions.  Active components of an ideal relationship are communication, love, respect, trust and sharing time and other resources together.

Discussion of this subject is in the context of adults preparing to tie the knot. Relationships are challenging to humans perhaps because we do not understand love according to the Creator’s definition.  It is a common phenomenon to draw a private specification of the attributes of the future partner.   Most descriptions cover physical make-up therefore it becomes easy to pay less attention to other equally important factors.  Marriage is ten percent physical love attraction and ninety percent results of your decision and ability of leaning to live together with a total stranger. Consider the following pointers:

1.    Is this person given/assigned to be your mate?  Only those who are active believers are cultured to make this a priority and to seek spiritual assistance from spiritual leaders.

2.    Have you fallen in love or in lust? You need to know the difference.

3.    How do you view yourself? Are you emotionally ready to share all your life with another person? If you are dealing with emotional issues, it is best to address them before you tie the knot. An ideal situation is one where two emotionally stable individuals bring mutual clear intentions to the bond of marriage.    

4.    Do you bring partial self that seek your ‘real’ agenda? This pertains to the following:

a)   Getting married to escape unhappy home or to spite your parents.

b)   To fit in because your friends got married and you feel left-out.

c)    You fear your parents who have been in the same predicament as you about the meaning of marriage.  Such parents pressure their children in unsuitable marriage for their benefit.  The common benefit in African culture is wealth in a case of a girl.  Sometimes due to lack of appropriate parenting skill, parents are afraid that their daughter in this era of liberal moral standards will likely get pregnant and damage their good name.

5.    Do you really understand contract relationship in the context of the Creator’s definition? This is a subject that is taught through counseling sessions for the minimum period of six months in order that young couples could make informed decision when they swear that they will love and honor each other until death separates them.

If you have been experiencing negative emotions at any point in your relationship, check your readiness to share your life in an intimate relationship! It could be that your ego (underlying motivation of the mind) is playing you. Watch out for your true motives! Remember that true love demands no conditions for the other party to change who they are because that is not possible nor is a positive approach to a long-term relationship.  True love should be void of conditions that seek to satisfy one party. Ideal relationship must operate on good communication, unconditional love, respect, trust and dedication to sharing time and the whole of you to the each other. So; are you ready for the contract relationship?