Taking control: Are you assessing your upward mobility?

Upward mobility pertains to personal growth as a result of successful achievement of goals. It could also refer to identifying and mobilizing resources for your vision.  Assessing your progress is mandatory and will enable you to measure your commitment towards a desired change.

The process of taking control of your life is a life-long exercise, which transcends the grave.  This means as long as you are alive, you will encounter challenges and daily learn from them as you become successful in maintaining a cleaner inner space and acquire skills to manage your personal blemishes.  It is important to identify and unlearn bad habits. If this includes bad influence from your friends, move away from them!  Find those who are moving upwards! Learn how they achieved those things that are similar to your plans. 

Assessing progress should be part of the growth strategy.  If the important step to take control of your life is letting go of your anger because you are divorced, you need to replace angry thoughts and emotions with positive and empowering thoughts as follows:

1.    Am I benefiting to think of the failed relationship? The answer is no; and you cannot reverse the time invested in that relationship.  Each day you allow your mind to drift towards the cause and whether or not you contributed, you are actually harming yourself.  You are opening the wound every time; and it is up to you to choose to move towards healing.

2.    Is this the only issues that has angered me or was there other dormant experiences? While it may seem irrelevant to consider the real source of your anger, it will help you to see how you contributed to the failed relationship.  For an example, if you are living with disappointments because your parents separated or were divorced, you are likely to be carrying:

i)            Fear: If you brought fear into the relationship, you probably contributed negative energy because you could not trust your spouse.

ii)           Insecurity: In such a case a failed relationship was a confirmation of what you felt unconsciously and such toxic energy would not have allowed you to love unreservedly.  Insecure person wants to be perfect and demands the same from others.  Such a person therefore has a controlling behavior.  Remember! You can only control you and nobody else. 

iii)          Easily angered: If you find you are always picking hurtful words when communicating with others, it is likely that you have negative emotions and it is extremely challenging to positively interact with other people.

Moving from these incapacitating emotional issues requires that you pay attention on how often in a day you catch yourself brooding over the past argument; anticipating offense from colleagues or other people; recalling and dwelling on how you were unjustly treated at a meeting because someone’s s suggestion was noted as ideal compared to yours.  When you are able to note these negative thoughts and attitude, know that you have become conscious of the condition of your inner space.  You are making progress in refining the quality of your emotions and you will find it easy to discard anything that derails you or will distance yourself from those who are not taking upward mobility.