Taking control: Your success will change in relationships when you change!

Change is within you when you choose a New - You!

As you exited childhood, you experienced change physically, perceptually and socially.  The process of understanding change got better as you got exposed to it through various social institutions; revealing a wider and subjective view of the meaning of life to you.

Change defined!

Change in the context of experiencing time and the quality of interaction with others denotes deeper understanding of factors that contribute to pleasant or unpleasant experiences over the period. It is being aware of the actual trend you experienced life versus the subjective expectations of what life should be. We all could identify ourselves with this change in terms of the trend on relationships, financial success, health and career.

Only you can change you!

Key contributors of your subjective world and the need for change!

If you want to know the lifestyle of your neighbors, simply watch their children playing: Their language, mannerism and values are displayed through their children because children have capacity to absorb and project everything with all their sensual ports. This good attribute is also the instrument of fundamental fixation regarding the subjective view of the world as an adult because whatever you heard from your caregivers became important components of your values and belief systems. Change therefore is a necessary catalyst, which enable you to unlearn and rebuild new values and beliefs. You have been changing continually and each day will continue to build and shape your worldview if you seek to change yourself and not others as follows:

1.    Change is effective when it addresses and modifies your identified blemishes. This means nothing will impact you unless you are aware and receptive of it.

2.    When you are aware that your power to change is within, you will note that your world will change when you change; thus confirming that what happens in your world reveals your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This therefore denotes that attempting to change others is lacking the wisdom of how change occurs.

3.    Every mistake should have impacted you positively if you did not focus on the pain which attracted more painful experiences or blaming others. Mistakes provided a much needed database from which you could establish the trend of why and how you make them.

4.    Your inner positive or negative energy will determine how your impact others which will greatly influence your attitude and believe system. You will notice that there is a trend in how you managed previous relationships; especially colleagues and romantic partners.

Inherently mankind would prefer if other people would behave according to their values and beliefs. Relationships tend to be complex because we seek a complete take-over of the other persons’ life to complete ours. Taking control of your life is recognizing this emptiness that seeks an addition to self to experience joy and completeness. It is important therefore to be fully aware of our underlying psychological needs that manifest in various forms of misconceptions.  When we are able to see our own emptiness, we will seek change that empowers us towards being enough; thus lessening our dependency and demanding attitude from others.

Taking control: How do you approach a desired change?

Change occurs only  if there is total acceptance of  self
with all your flaws. Only then can you start living  with others
 and finding something to cherish them for!

Change is dynamic and cuts across all aspect of humanity. Every moment of your life is affected by information inputted through all senses; thus changing your perception about yourself, others and life in general. Change is the root cause and a motivating factor behind your learning efforts; whether informally, non-formally and formally. The key is allowing yourself to live with imperfections and accepting your level at which you have capacity to change.

Why do you need change?

You need change to eliminate the current hurdles that slow you down or have a potential to derail you from attaining your goal. You also need change to develop skill and improve your productivity or remove yourself from unproductive environment. You seek economic change to improve ability to access wealth and live optimal life. A rational assessment of your strengths and weaknesses will usher you in a place of comfort to consciously love and honor yourself. Only then would you be able to search for the appropriate strategies to improve the current undesirable behaviors, and correct misleading cultural values and beliefs about yourself and others. There are three types of people:

1.   Those who put others first: They hardly think of their needs and some do not have clear goals. You cannot give what you do not have. In other words if you love yourself first you will know how to extend that love to others. Because you want peace in your environment, you will not be the source of disharmony anywhere. These people have a noble attitude of serving others; but they must learn to have a point of reference and life purpose.

2.   Selfish people: They think of themselves and have low level of social intelligence to interacting with others. These are ruthless people who control and step on others’ rights to satisfy or meet their own goals.  When love is replaced with excessive love of self, negative energy becomes prevalent and it is a root cause of crime and health issues.

3.   Prosperous people: They are achievers who have acquired skill to balance compassion to assist others with relentless efforts to meet their own identified goals. They have learned to accept themselves fully and therefore love people without seeking to please them because that is mission impossible. 

How do you attain change?

Seeking change is a subjective quest and depends on individual’s perception of self and life in general.  The paradox of life is that you need to change for your own adaptability in your environment.  This then denotes that your reason to change is to trim undesirable behavior in order to live harmoniously with your family, community, colleagues and the world at large. You can attain change by:

1.    Assessing your life purpose and identifying gaps so that you can take appropriate remedial measures.

2.    Establishing a clear strategy of attaining how you need to adjust to live harmoniously with others and still achieve your established goals. For an example, do you know why you repel people? Do you listen when others talk or you impatiently wait for your turn to react to part of what they said?  

Let go of any emotional bondage
of your socialization ! Forgive
those who raised you in less than
ideal environment!

3.    Realizing that you have not achieved your goal because you have sabotaged your own goals by not using your inner power of thoughts, words and actions. You are what you think about and feel!

4.    Taking responsibility for your social, spiritual and financial success because what you think about and seek must come to pass; delay or failure is your feedback of your non-compliance to the law of cause and effect. You reap what you sow! When you become aware of this fact, you will take responsibility to learn and maintain positive energy.

5.    Owning up a responsibility to change the level of knowledge and wisdom to let go anything that disrupt your plans. To change your life, you need to change how you think, speak and act. Such attitude will help you to be conscious of your thoughts and remember that the natural laws of love and cause and effect apply all the time.

  

Change originates from within and is not dependent on outside factors. You have no power to change economic recession; but you can change your lifestyle and reduce the level of expectations so that it does not impact you severely. You may love your parents; but you may not approve their spirituality. So, you must change your attitude in order to give them space and respect their choices. Change is a necessary mechanism that enables you to adjust and accept yourself and others.