Taking control: Ideal parenting comes with effective communication!

Parenting is generally challenging for many parents and has become more so in the 21^st century with the advent of United Nations intervention to regulate child protection. This has led to complications of striking ideal communication in parenting styles.  Often parenting teenagers carry even heavier challenge when it comes to enforcing discipline.

What is parenting?

Parenting is an overall nurturing of an infant with a purpose to gain optimum health and successful experience of all developmental stages. It entails empowering a child with social skills as well as communication and decision making; and finally, providing necessary resources to enable a child to access both non-formal and formal education of choice.

How important is communication in parenting?

Communication is an important tool of parenting because it is a medium through which a child learns during the first eight formative years. An infant’s first need is to bond with both parents through all forms of communication; then other members of the family in order to feel safe psychologically and physically. Most harm is done at infancy and manifest in adolescence and throughout adulthood stages. Parents often get a shock when their children act-out their feelings; and hearing expressed anger on incidents which they overlook as insignificant. An unborn infant develops hearing sense very early and starts experiencing harsh environment when the mother exchange hurtful words or is in similar situations.  The current information explosion is making parenting even more challenging. For example parents spend shorter period away from the computers, newspapers and television at home; thus depriving their children quality time to communicate and most importantly listening to them. The situation widens the communication gap, which makes parenting a daunting task when parents attempt to assert themselves on compliance to family rules in general. The following parenting styles demonstrate the levels of communication and the impact:

1.     Authoritarian parenting: It is a form of a military approach where communication is one way and punishment is a form of regulating behavior.  The disadvantage of this approach is to produce stereotype behavior in which a child learn to suppress own ideas so that it could be easier to follow the leader. This is disrobing a child of any ability to communicate in various groups and therefore become a follower and not learn to be competent to lead.  

2.     Authoritative parenting: Is said to be an ideal approach of parenting where parents communicate clear rules and expectations for compliance.  In other words while parents demonstrate the role of authority and responsibility within a family, they also allow free expression. This approach prepares a child to fit in a real world where a child learns to recognize authority in various social institutions. Communication in its various forms enable a child to learn how to address various social groups appropriately as well as knowing the importance of applying respect and not fear in all levels.

3.     Permissive parenting: Is also referred to as indulgent parenting where there are fewer guiding regulations and therefore little behavior shaping and compliance expectations. This form of parenting has little communication and leaves a lot to be desired in terms of preparing a child to interact successfully with various social groups.  This parenting style is prevalent in modern society and has unpleasant results. The impact is increase on school riots because student simply does not have skill to communicate their grievances constructively. The same applies to marriages. Intolerance is high at workplace and political arena.  

4.     Uninvolved parenting: This style of parenting is also common in developed countries where a child is exposed to unsupervised television viewing because both parents are working and have very little quality time with their child.  The danger here is:

§  A child does not develop listening skill because television robs a person of the need to listen attentively.

§  A child is exposed to witchcraft through the so called ‘kids programs’ which have this negative spiritual content.

§  Most games are violent and therefore reduce the ugliness of violence in the child’s morale values archived information. Uninvolved parenting allows a lot of freedom which is like unattended garden.  Weeds often grow faster than crops and this is doom and despair for children. The evidence is increasing rape because a child has no skill to communicate and form acceptable relationships. In general, they have never learned the value of delayed gratification.  

Communication is a catalyst of change from early life - before birth - and transcends the grave. It is key in informal, non-formal and formal education. Communication prepares a child to experience ideal life through successful interaction with others in various social institutions.