Taking control: Watch out for your psychological attachment!

Psychological attachment is a negative outcome of experiences that become a belief and influence undesirable behavior which includes unhappiness, stinginess, hate of authority and controlling tendencies.  Such beliefs tend to be anchors that could deter you from experiencing positive or full life.

Identifying your psychological attachment!

Attachments are the main cause of your inability to interact or maintain ideal relationships. For you to understand the concept, let us discuss a few examples of situations that challenges you and you are unable to change:

1.    Unhappiness: Often you may blame your hormones if you are a lady and yet there is a deeper emotional baggage from your childhood socialization.  If you were raised by parents who uttered “no” more than “yes” you may unconsciously feel deprived of unconditional love and feel generally confused about loving other people unconditionally.  You have developed a behavior of striving to please someone to earn his/her attention or love.  This will work against you when you exit into adulthood and look for a life partner. Actually the only qualifying person for you would be one who is vulnerable and would give in to your manipulations and controlling habits.

Solution: First identify if you are an unhappy person.  That is, if your happiness is conditional on someone making you have positive feelings.  Unhappy people preempt undesirable situations so that they can maintain their unhappiness. In other words you need a coach that would help you to expect situations that would make you happy.  You must learn to be happy!

2.     Stinginess: This refers to hoarding on what you possess. This is a form of insecurity which says you may never come across this, so keep it and make it last! When children hear lack more than conditions associated with prosperity, they learn to hang on stuff! They get fixated on the lack mode.

3.    Solution: Planet earth was created to be a resource for all living and non-living and mankind is in charge of it all! Again, you must develop a new mentality through coaching and replacing socialization and cultural myths with facts about the abundance of the universe. You must learn to share and to replace poverty mentality with abundance. 

4.    Hate of authority: You can be a hater of authority because you had overly controlling parents.  Do you have subtle dislike or resentment of your parents when they express their opinion; your teacher who demands submission of assignment; your pastor who reminds you to honor your parents; boss who sets production targets? If so, you are classically conditioned to dislike anybody who exercises authority over you.

Solution: You must learn that authority was established with creation and it is meant to establish orderliness and accountability. For an example, your teacher must ensure that you learn and pass well for your own good. He/she is also accountable to meet a set pass rate of the school.  When you understand this, you will learn to love your teacher as someone who is dedicated to assist you to meet your personal goals.

Taking responsibility over your life includes assessing your own behavior and noting lack of control on certain regular incidents.  It is easier when you do this rather than hearing it from another person because you are likely to be defensive.   Try self education on this subject and set a period beyond which you will seek professional help if you cannot loosen your anchors!