Taking control: Does financial challenges impact on your relationship!

The subject of wealth and relationship raise varying degree of disagreement across social groups in urbanized societies.  It is believed that it is an important resource that enables us to access things that contribute to our needs, wants and happiness.

Why money matters in relationships!

Ladies! Have you ever evaluated your feelings towards your partner when financial barometer hit zero?  I am referring to ladies because it seems natural for man to feel down and powerless when they are not able to provide for needs and wants! It is ladies role therefore to normalize men’s lives by not expressing any lack.  We have learnt early in life that money enable us to get things that we aspire for and was the motivating factor to learn and follow particular careers.  Its absence is likely to matter because parents (especially mothers) express their expectations of financial success as they persuade their daughters to seek affluent suitors.  Many young ladies therefore frequent particular places where the cream of the society buys and dines.  Is this proactive approach bad? Not exactly! This is your personal preference which only you can honestly answer! Nonetheless, if this criterion was a deciding factor, it will significantly affect your affection when financial challenges set in.

The safe route on issues of wealth and relationships!

The safe route is one where you empower yourself as an individual to create your own wealth so that it would not be a deciding factor when you seek a life partner.  In other words ladies, do not seek your happiness outside you!  Have your own success goals and pursue them before tying the knot so that money will not be your deciding factor.  Anytime you look for someone to complete you in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment! The ideal route is to find someone who is whole and is looking for a whole person like you to share time and other resources with.

The safe route is one in which you spend your money wisely; that is, safe more than you spend!  Money affects relationships because of the following:

1.   Sharing accounts is ideal and ensures transparency; nonetheless, it restricts and forces you to compromise on its ability to avail things you like especially when your partners has a controlling behavior.

2.   One party is likely to safe at the expense of the other.  For an example, your partner may buy less often but spend more than you.  Again there are a few men who would spend on kitchenware, yet would enjoy the luxurious atmosphere of adequately accessorized kitchen.

3.   Whether or not you marry in community of property, it is unlikely to share expenses equally.  For an example, long-term expenses like insurance, house mortgage or car loan; tend to raise concerns that could lead to arguments.  If your partner convinced you to sell your car, it would gradually limit your movement to work and home only.  He will be the one picking up mid-month groceries, and you will become a home person who cooks and do all chores because he will have excuses of not doing his agreed roles. Think about it!

You would be taking control of your life if you ensure that things you like that money buys remain as they are.  Better express your needs and wants than develop resentment when your toys are regarded as unnecessary.  In other words, do not demand anybody to change for you, so that you can live a fulfilling life with this particular person as he is.  Living a lie will catch up with you! Besides, are you willing to change who you are and what you like for another person?