Taking control: How your communication skill impact on your romantic relationship!

You do not have to say anything ....you both know the feeling
of the moment!

Communication is the most important skill you learned from your family and other social institutions from early childhood.  It was an empowering tool that enabled you to express your basic needs.   As an adult it is a tool of proficiency which set you apart in your career and in choosing and managing your romantic relationships.

Communication defined!

Communication is a transmission of a clear message verbally or non-verbally to another person. It is conveying an idea in one of the four processes of communication; a thought, feelings, words or actions. 

  

Types of communication

There are two types of communication: Verbal communication between two people or more; printed communication between two people or more; and the most recently, exchange of messages through electronic device between two or more people. A non-verbal communication engages more than five senses on a particular scene in real time or use of electronic device to go beyond time and space in cased of audio and video devices.  Non-verbal communication is said to be the most used type of effective communication in romantic relationships.

Impact of verbal and non-verbal communication in romantic relationships

1.    Non-Verbal Communication: Often a relationships starts from non-verbal cues wherein one party sends a clear body language of a positive message which 

The one thing you cannot let go is
the child in you...!

expresses an interest. Even in this modern era of freedom of speech and human rights, most ladies would want to be approached by a male. It is said that a human electrical field is more than twelve feet which explains why a person will turn in the direction from which a stare came from. In other words an admirer often will have a response from focused and intentional attention. All other stages of intimacy occur non-verbally and it is amazing how little we use spoken words when it comes to physical attraction. It is therefore a proven fact that non-verbal communication is aggregated as seventy percent and only thirty percent to verbal communication. In the environment of intimacy it is easier for a female partner to initiate her needs non-verbally probably because it is still not socially accepted to express sexual needs verbally. This approach works when the relationship is normal and definitely fails when there is a strain between the couple.

2.    Verbal Communication: We all learned to communicate by listening and looking at others from infancy. Verbal communication carries other non verbal cues like feelings and attitude hence the larger portion assigned to it. In relationships it is the most important skill to enable partners to know each other’s needs and expectations without doubt and also establish rules that will inform management of the relationship. This mode of communicating is often used as an excuse when the other part defends their behavior of withholding affection to the other partner. For an example, other couples prefer to communicate rules verbally once and remind each other of their enforcement in a careful and tip-toeing manner non-verbally.  What a stress!

Assertiveness is normally prohibited in a relationship from religious point of view because of requirement that regulates how a woman must approach her husband. This perpetuates crossing the line in marriage intimacy because a woman is not at liberty to express displeasure verbally and clearly.

 

Taking control of your life on issues of communication denotes going up the stream to clear the air verbally; thus making a statement on how you feel about a particular incident so that the other party see your point.  Inappropriate behavior must be addressed assertively, yet politely. Since the marriage is the institution of secrecy, those who attempted to express themselves on family matters have wounds to show that their hands have been more than slapped. You as a woman must however continue to empower yourself with communication skills especially on how to be assertive without insulting your partner’s ego.